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You are here : home > Teen Issues > They've hit Puberty > Rude Teens > Comments

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Comments:

Name: Abc
Country: Singapore
Pls advice : My 12 year old daughter refuses to study in her study room. Her exams are approaching and she studies in her bedroom and wastes time in front of the mirror

Name:
Country: Singapore
Hello Mick and Carolina Ur comments are really enlightening . My daughters exams are coming up and she refuses to study in her study room instead she is studying in her own bedroom where she is wasting time in front of mirror .pls suggest what to do

Name: wegert
Country: Canada
i agree with vicky.also too,what if the mother has to deal with depression and the teen has mild tourette syndrom.one moment all is peacefull,next minute there is anger and rudeness.

Name: stress-relly
Country: Singapore
well i agree as a teacher that rudeness should not be tolerated. i strongly believe that a child who has the correct values enforced at home will behsve well outside too

Name: Jason
Country: Canada
you can be the most loving, well mannered, educated parents in the world and still experience the "terrible teenager". i don't know how to deal with the "i don't care" attitude about school,family,health, etc.i hear only that friends are cool. yet poor decisions and poor choices are made. how does one cope with this?

Name: vani
Country: India
i won't tolerate rudeness with any of my children. i use the cane. bad behaviour in our house is punished severely. six on the buttocks with the cane teaches a strong lesson.

Name: tina
Country: India
nice article

Name: sugar hill
Country: U.S.A.
i agree as a social worker that rudeness should not be tolerated. however, i strongly believe that a child has be corrected in a positive manner.

Name: mother of 4
Country: Malaysia
i have 4 kids 2 being teenagers. i am at a dilemma at handling teens. they are the best one moment and reverse the next. i am still trying so many methods. but whatever the reason rude behaviour cannot be tolerated.period!!!! !

Name: jani
Country: Canada
i agree that rudeness is unacceptable, but what about when the suggestions in the article have been exhausted and the rudeness escalates. when i try to talk to my daughter about her rude comments, or try to understand what is bothering her, she yells repeatedly at me to "shut up!" i will not yell over her and i walk away to address it when she is calmer. she is almost sixteen.

Name: Giovanni
Country: U.S.A.
who wrote the article, and on what basis do they give advice?

Name: Mitra
Country: Iran
i am a mother of 2 and my first child is a 12 year old girl. she is very rude to me and her father. she is never peacefull. her room is a mess and she is forcing me into depression. she stars shouting about anything form 6:30 am to 11:00 pm (when she goes to bed by force). she is top student in her school. tell me what to do????!!!!!

Name: RITU
Country: India
hi,i have a 14yrs.old son.i think he has failed me in all my understanding of teenage study.manytimes i feel so helpless$ shocked.nothing seems to work on him.starting from waking up in morning or going to bed in night

Name: Linda
Country: South Africa
i agree completely with jason - nothing can be done with a teen who "just doesntcare!" i have tried and tried and tried to teach about choices and consequences - just nothing! i have been totally consistent in reactions - stil nothing! i have even become so dispondent that i feel like "divorcing" my teen - i cant handle that they get the upper hand all the time.

Name: rght
Country: India
rudeness rudeness rudeness

Name: CANDY
Country: United Kingdom
i have 4 children but only one is rude. she is 15, not the oldest. she is very intelligent but rude at home as well as school. no kind of praise or punishment has changed her. her view is it is always someone else's fault.

Name: Ana
Country: Mexico
this is one of the first sensible articles i have found. parents are pathetic with their children and let them get away with everything. this is not doing the kids any favours.

Name: confused and worried
Country: India
i'm a psychologist with a 14 year old son. going thru the same problem.inspite of trying various approaches,the bouts of aggression and rudeness are still frequent.i withdraw from the arguement and refuse to be provoked.i think i understand what causes such behaviour but it pains to think that such an intelligent child is unable to handle his emotions and can be so reckless and defiant about elders.i am very worried.and to think i have a masters degree in psychology.

Name: heart broken
Country: South Africa
my daughter who is now 14 has been an extreme challenge since her dad left when she was seven i feel i have spoilt her by not saying no enough and thats maybe due to the guilt of divorce but now something in me has died and i feel cold and need to protect my self after 7 years of challenge and rudeness which i feel leans on the side of bulllying an verbal abuse , it came to a climax when we started physically hitting each other in jan we have had six months of therapy which has helped but i am still feeling ive lost those lovely sweet children that i didnt even have terrible twos with , my 12 year old is picking up the bad habits too, but now i feel cold and dead inside that i gave so much unconditional love and care and attention and i dont get an ounce of repect ive looked hard at my behaviour in this and made changes but my heart is broken the message im trying to give is there should be conditiopnal love other wise you become a dormat to people ,

Name: P.J.A.M.
Country: U.S.A.
i just attended my great nieces'12th birthday party today. she had a handful of her friends in attendance. most of them have been at my house for swimming parties (so some of them knew who i was). i am greatly disappointed in their lack of respect, not even saying simple things like please & thank you; not speaking when asked polite questions, unable to carry on any type of a conversation with any adults present. i see this all as being rude! from my perspective at 57 years of age it seems like most adults are afraid to even teach their children or the friends of their children these simple courtesies of life.

Name: .
Country: India
hahaha....arent d parents being rude wen dey dnt accept us d way v r bt trying to make us wat dey want??????

Name: fozzy
Country: United Kingdom
i'm suffering from clinical depression and i have a 13 year old daughter who is rude and angry all the time. evenn though i explain to her this behaviour isn't acceptable but i can't get through to her. it makes it harder for me to cope because of the depression. has any one got ideas on what i should do to discipline her

Name:
Country: U.S.A.
these parents are funny. peer influence isn't a cause.

Name: Nazia
Country: Pakistan
my 15 year teenage daughter is extremely rude and i feel obnoxious - but only to me. i feel it is partly my fault because i have let her get away with rude behaviour in the past, wheras i should have refused to tolerate it. her behaviour has become such an issue for me that i have now decieded to take a very harsh line in that 'come hell or high water' i will not tolerate it any more. this, i feel, is the only way i can deal with it. at the moment my daughter's behaviour is affecting our family environment and although i love her, i will not allow her to hijack the family as she has currently done. my message is that: love your child to bits, but rudeness and disrespect should never be tolerated - i think unconditional love means you become a doormat.

Name: Shriva
Country: India
i don't care is a favourite response from teens because it can't be countered - you cannot argue with it.the best way to deal with it is to say, "you may not care but i do".

Name: Mick
Country: Australia
i think a good deal of problems with teens occur because parents behave in an immature manner themselves. these are children. if they are rude it should not cause "depression" or "fury" in parents. this just shows the parents themselves cannot control their own reactions and responses. children learn by example. if you are controlled yourself, they will learn to be too. if you shout at them for being rude, expect them to learn your pattern of behaviour. and remember, the bottom lip wobbling is not control!!

Name: Caroline
Country: United Kingdom
ask any psychologist. teen rudeness is quite normal and is simply testing the boundaries. most children who are rude at home are well behaved elsewhere. the trick is to completely ignore it and only take any notice of them when they are polite. of course a 57 year old is going to find todays teenagers unbearably rude, for two reasons. firstly kids growing up in our grandparents era were seen and not heard and often beaten if they were rude.they were polite out of fear. secondly most 60 year olds have forgotten what they were like as teenagers!

Name: Setia
Country: U.S.A.
thank you for your advise/information about rude teens.

Name: Vicky
Country: united kingdom
a logical dialogue but fails to address the problem of teens refusing to discuss why they act this way. of course communication is the key but if they shrug shoulders and answer "don't know" to everything, what then? help!

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